THE MOST EMBARRASING THING HAPPENED TO ME TODAY...
so today was filming for soo's ica...
so we had our locations ready...
we couldn't get hilton or pan pacific...
so we decided to settle for hotels with hourly rates...
hotel 81!!!!!
woot woot...
we chose the one at bencolen street...
next to SMU, beside Singapore arts museum, and behind the cathy...
good location, a good mix of education of higher learning, culture and historical entertainment value...
dawn and azmi acted like a horny couple waiting to shag till their brains pop...
get this...
its legal to have sex when you're 16...
but its not legal to book a sleazy hotel if you're under 21...
what...
so people from the ages of 16 and 21 have to settle with shagging under some ulu staircase?
this is flipping bullshit....
ok... the worst part is...
checking into hotel 81 was not THE most embarrassing thing yet...
it were the following events that made we want to pull my white undies over my head and give myself a hard weggie, silently screaming WHAT THE FUCK!!!
a.k.a, crawl back to my mommy's womb...
Concierge... ok too high class for a hotel who charges hourly rates...
creepy guy at counter aka, CGAC...
CGAC: you have to be 21 years and above to book a room...
me: (wips out bro's old EZ link card that expired like 5 years ago, tries to puff out cheeks to look a little more well fed like in the photo) sorry i lost my ic, this is my old card...
CGAC: erm do you have other form of varification?
me: nope, i just need to book at room for like 2 hours to dumb my bags and go catch a movie (shagg till my brains pop out)
CGAC: are you sure you're lucien hong ying quan?
me: yea, i know i look a little different in the photo, i was fat back then...
CGAC: so you've gone through NS right? what unit were you in?
me: (SHIT MOTHER F**KER SHIT CRAP WHAT THE) errrrrrrr....
CGAC: police? at ang mo kio north?
me: (WHERE THE FUCK IS ANG MO KIO NORTH, IS IT THE ONE NEXT TO MY SCHOOL? WHY IS HE ASKING QUESTIONS THAT I DON'T KNOW? ITS A FLIPPING EZ LINK CARD IS THERE SOME HIDDEN BIO BOUT MY BRO TT I'M TOO BLIND TO SEE?") erm, yea...
CGAC: so you're from ang mo kio north and you don't know me?
me: (WHO THE FICKUNADUM ARE YOU AND WHY DOES MY BROTHER KNOW YOU? YOU'RE A BLARDY MANAGER OF A SLEAXY HOURLY RATES HOTEL...
OHHHHH MYYYY GAAAAAWD!!!!
SHIT GOD DAMN IT MOTHER F**KING SON OF A B**CH!!!!!
THIS BASTARD KNOWS MY BROTHER!!!!!) nope?! smiles widely...
CGAC: well ok then here's your room key it'll be $30 for 2 hurs with a $20 key diposit...
ok maybe 7 kids all squeezed up in a room may look suspicious...
hey underage orgy are all the rage now oooook!!!
we totally fit in with the whole sleazy pseudo posh with suspicious looking stains everywhere look...
so went upstairs and started fliming ( porn orgy, poly kids gone wild)
me: well at least my brother's off in like europe, he can't be traced even if they wanted too... muah huah muah...
absolutely hilarious, how we manovered around the 2 by 4 room...
not enough space to actually navigate around...
its ok...
don't need to since all we'll be doing is filming (mass orgy shagging our brains out on the bed)...
filming was done right on schedule...
so hurried to check out before we get anymore shit from CGAC...
avoided CGAC, to do our check out so settled for creep lady at counter (CLAC)...
CGAC was telling CLAC to take down my contact number and my real name because i gave a fake one...
me: (pretends not to listen still avoiding CGAC eye contact)
CGAC got pissed and walked towards me and in a scary disciplinary master tone gave me a lecture...
CGAC: FIRST OF ALL YOU ARE DEFINATELY NOT HONG YING GUAN AND I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT HE'S IN FRANCE AND WHERE EVER YOU'VE GOTTEN THIS EZ LINK FROM YOU'D BETTER RETURN IT, BECAUSE I WILL HAVE YOU REPORTED!
me: errrrrr (furiously blushing red) i'm his, errrr brrrrooootheeer?
CGAC: IF YOU'D HAVE TOLD ME EARLIER, I WOULD HAVE JUST LET YOU HAVE THE ROOM!
me: takes back change and dash out of sleazy hotel 81... vowing not to return and submiting my fate to shagging under ulu staircase before i turn 21 where i'll be legal to book a room for 2 hours at SHAG-rilla wher i can hold my head up high and shag whoever whenever i want at SHAG-rilla...
a great way to celebrate my 200th post...
woot woot...
on a less self demeaning note...
my horoscope seems to be quite accurate lately besides telling me my stars are in uranus...
this weeks horoscope...
~~~ Instead of having your usual black coffee (raise eyebrow) try having smtg different, try tea, a milkshake or even a chocolate latte...
instead of trying to change that person, do not expect anything from him or her because you must not expect miracles, it will take some time for them to change however do not rush them if not you will lose them sooner than you think (raises eyebrow)
you have to start evaluating your friendships, decided which are worth investing, and clinging on to, don't waste your time on friends who only appear when you want them to, instead of appearing when you need them to, some friendships are worth the risk, others are a burden...
(rases eyebrow)
hororscope says, horoscope do...
horoscope says i need a change in tase, i did tazo chai latte...
horoscope says i need to be patient, i forgave without questioning...
horoscope says i need to re-evaluate, i evaluated blinding, and i think i might have made a terrible mistake...
hooroscope says, horoscope do...
some things in life i want my horoscope to tell me...
some things in life i want my horoscope to do for me...
but for the other things in life i want my horroscope to keep telling me my stars are in uranus...
~sings~
its my 200th post and i'll cry if i want to...
cry if i want to..
cry if i want to...
you would cry to if it happened to yooooooou!!!!!
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