plotting in the pantry...

my day was like a ripped off page from briget jones' diary...
god doesn't only hates me...
he wants to get even...
just throw 60 more pounds and a bad english accent...
trust me...
hollywood will come knocking on my door...

when was the last time i woke up at 6am sia...
it was like a simulatneous reaction...
all three of us opened the door and stared at each other...
since my sis' room was the closest she ran in and slam the door...
followed by my brother pushing me back into my room..
and switching on the heater...

in the animal world this can only be settled by one way...
~~insert image of me pouncing on my brother and banging on door~~
but this is sibling world...
everything had to be done tackfully...

i shall let them win this time...
but tml..
i'll be taking my time and pissing them off big time...
in meantime, think of a first day ensemble...

am already late when my daddyo popped me at katib mrt station...
shitmotherfuckerfuckshit...
i left my wallet at home..
risk my dad and bro yelling at me...
or justbe smart and borrow from sis who poped off at the same stop as me...
ok..
shall be smart and tackful and use sis' ez link card...
since its cheaper anyway...
yay crisis adverted...

so rush up to mrt train..
1 minute...
i'm am on a roll...
feels somone tugging on my bag...
was the smrt control guy...

demands to see my ez link card...
looks around...
everyone's staring..
thinking i'm some terrorist ready to press the buttom and blow up into a million pieces killing everyone...
shitshitshit...
he confiscated my card...
saying that i'm not allowed to use the card because it did not belongs to me...
kept on trying to explain to him that she was my sister...
can't you tell form the uber high cheek bones and gorgeous innocent eyes!!!
she's my fucking sister for god's sake...

kept on trying to explain to him that my whole morning's fucked up and that it-was-my-first-day-of-work-and-that-i'm-already-going-to-be-late-and-they're-going-to-fire-me-even-before-i-say-damnit-this-is-tough-i-wanna-quit-goddamnit!

made me sign some card retention form...
and made me declare that the card wasn't mine..
and that i "might" have stolen it..
but he doesn't know it yet so he'll hand the case to his supervisor and authorities to "investigate"...

don't these people have anything better to do?
like i don't know..
pick on someone else more racially minoritised...


i'm kidding...sheeeesh...


or like keep a look out for people video taping the mrt station..
in an attempt to blow up into a million pieces killing everyone...

oh wait...

that was me...


oh well...


why does such shit always happen to me!!!!
whhhhyyyyyyyyyyy....
the worst part of all...
i'm not the one that's at the losing at...
its always the people i use...

recall the hotel 88 incident...
and an embarrassing encouter with my brother's colleague...
when i tried to pull off as my brother...

and now this with my sis' card...

i am like a walking sibling pisser-offer...


am so so so bloody late for first day of work....
this is helllllllll....

so called my dad and bro who was already on ecp..or was it bke? or jke?
well... you get it...
they were P-I-S-S-E-D...
leave it to hong yu ran to screw everyone's day the morning...

ran like mad to work...
will be graceful and admit tht i was late becuase evil smrt guy was too bored looking out for possible terrorist threats therefore venting his fustration on a helpless and defenseless boy like me and confiscated my ez link card and i couldn;t board the train and i freaked out and cried at the side of the control station until my daddyo came and throw cash at me so that i still can make it to work on time and give my 200% effort into my work before i start slacking off 48 hours later...
yess...

honesty is the best policy...
met my supervisor and she's super nice...
she hates evil smrt guy too...
will plot terrorist revenge attack on katib mrt station together in the pantry...



....if an government official's reading this i don;t mean anything i said...
...friends and love ones, if you guys don;t see me over the next 48 hours...
...can someone please tell my parents to forgive my stupidity...
...go get help from thai embassy...
...if s'pore doesn't want me...
...i think thailand might...


...i didn't mean that either...


back to work...

the people at work's really nice...
its either that or maybe its becuase i am my father's son thats why...
i'm the spoilt brat whoose father works in the same company...
muahahhaha....

i'm working at the public relations and external affairs department...
not the best place to get an internship...
but a supper opportunity to not waste away my hols...
vegetating in-front of the telly...

spent the whole day cataloging pictures from shell's entire archive...
dusty mouldy black and white photos all have to be digitised and cataloged...
its actually quite fun actually...
looking at how fugly people back then was...
like seriously...
shoulder pads and neon bright pick lipstick and that maggi hair perm...
blast from the past mann...
the oldest photograph i cataloged was from 1930s...
how freaky is that...
s'pore wasn't even formed then...
and i'm putting my dirty little paws on it...
speeding up its decay...

time flies by when you're looking at images from the past...
before you know it its the unofficial "tea-time" where everyone gather at pig out..
everyone gets what they one....
i want ciggs in my oreos!!!

i lovvvvve working in the corporate world...
it beats having to serve people...
i feel like my brains not prematurely decaying...
it feels so damn good because a working class, tax paying, society contributing citizen...
i love it...



not because my room's the conference room and its all mine throughout...

but because i get to actually use my brains for once...

god gave me a bad morning..
so that i can see what a good day i was going to have...
but seriously...
the evil smrt guy was so uncalled for lahh...