No one makes fake emergency calls at midnight, you fucking idiot!

make mental note to self...

never...
Never...
NEVER EVER...

read a hilarious book on the mrt...

EVER...

just found out that my "upgraded" library card membership allows be to borrow....
GASP!!!
8 VCDS...
and 8 books!!!
its a tad bit psycotic...
needing that much of books and vcds...
and who in the right frame of mind would actually need that many social life killer...
excuse you...
i do have a social life...
but that dosen't mean i can't borrow 8 books and 8 vcds...
if i can't watch it or read it...
NO ONE CAAAAAAN!!!!
MUAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
felt like a social retard standing in line waiting to check out my books/ vcds...
librarians shot me the pathethic-oh-my-god-you-have-no-life-do-you look...
was given two huge plastic national library board plastic bag...
i never knew checking out so many books/vcds can give me a natural high only a club 21 sale can induce me with...
who needs retail therapy when you've got the national library board...
the nlb is the new gss....

so was on the mrt reading a newly checked out book....
kirstie alley's "How to Lose Your Ass and Regan Your Life!"
kirstie alley....
the actress who stared in countless movies during the 90s...
grew obstenciously fat...
brawled her eyes out on oprah...
lost a ton of weight and finally a size 10...

"an excerpt about how kristie tried to get out of her neighbour's house...
when her neighbour's girlfriend walked into them shagging...
kirstie decides to hide in his toilet and search for a way out...
and she see's her roomate in her apartment and tries to call out to her...

"Operator,i'd like to make an emergency interrupt to 8765-2345, please tell the party this is a real emergency!"

Operator: "i'm sorry, the party says they are in a conversation with a new hot guy and will not be able to give up the line at the moment."

Fuck you, Callie, Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you! can't you see me in this window? Can't you tell a real emergency call from the countless emergency calls we make during the day? It's midnight for fuck's sake. No one makes fake emergency calls at midnight, you fucking idiot!"

when kristie makes it to back to her house, she bangs on the door...

she hears callie, "Oh god, i've gotta get of the phone and call the police---someone's outside," still wondering if blondes do have lower IQs

around the front door...
ding dong ding dong...
as she peered into the entry hall, she see callie crouched on the floor calling the police. Oh god callie you can't be this stupid, you really can't..."


this book is fucking hilarious...
why did i stop liking kristie alley?
oh yea...
she produced a b grade sitcome veronica's closet...
grew fat...
and stopped making movies...
I LOVE KIRSTIE ALLEY!!!!

was trying to control my random outburst of laughter...
the opression of my laughs came in different forms of loud snorts and grunts...
i was on my ipod...
the music drowned out my outburst in my head...
but unfortunately...
it did abosolutely nothing for my random spasm...
frightening the kid sitting opposite me...
and the old lady sitting beside me...


make mental note to self...

never...
Never...
NEVER EVER...

read a hilarious book on the mrt...

EVER...